We are finally doing an episode about finding your values. Even if we don't realize it, our values are a constant undercurrent in our lives. They are what we use to make decisions and how we choose to spend our time and energy, whether we know it or not.
​
​Finding our values is a process of discover and we are going through that process in this episode and post.

A personal value is a deeply held belief or principle that guides an individual's decisions, actions, and judgments. It reflects what is important to a person and shapes their sense of right and wrong, influencing how they interact with the world and prioritize aspects of their life. Personal values are often rooted in cultural, social, and personal experiences, and they serve as a foundation for setting goals and making choices.

In summary, values are the things that are important to us, and ideally, we are spending our time and energy on the things that are important.

Bringing awareness to something is like flipping on a light in a dark room. When you know your values, the light in the room (or your life) is turned on. The room is easier to navigate. You avoid bumping into obstacles, and you can find what you are looking for.
​
​To make to metaphor more concrete, here's how knowing your values can help:
​
​Easier decision-making.
​When you consult your values to help you make decisions, the right choice for you becomes more clear. This is true for big life changing decisions as well as small daily decisions. For example, consider the decision of what to eat for lunch. If one of your values is health-related, you will be more likely to choose what you deem to be the healthier option.

​Setting priorities.
​Knowing your values helps you prioritize how you spend your limited resources: time, energy, attention, and money. 

​Building stronger relationships.
​Knowing your values is integral for building strong new and existing relationships. When values are communicated with others communicate your values with others (and vice versa), a mutual understanding can develop and your relationship will grow. Knowing your values can also help you seek out others with similar values.

​Navigating challenges.
​During difficult times, your values can serve as a compass, guiding you through challenges with a sense of purpose and integrity

​Increased motivation, satisfaction, and peace.
​Living in alignment with your values means that the decisions you make, how you spend your time and money, your behaviors, reflect what you have identified what as being important to you.

Note that it is your actions, not what you say. You can say anything. Like when someone says “I’m a nice guy” or “I’m a feminist” or “I’m not a racist.” You shouldn’t have to say that. We should be able to see that in what you do and how you act.

When you are not aligned with your values it creates inner conflict which leads to feelings of discontent and unhappiness. Maybe some feelings of guilt, regret, lack of fulfillment, stress, anxiety, and just this underlying feeling that something is off. When you’ve identified your values, it may be easier to diagnose the root cause of those negative emotions and then fix it.

Let’s get down to the nitty-gritty and talk about the criteria and characteristics of a value.
We’ll start with a quote:

Values costs you something.
One way to identify your values is to look at your costs - not just money, but your time, energy, and attention too. What are you spending these limited resources on? A value often requires sacrifices or trade-offs. The cost reflects your commitment to your values.
​
​Values are actionable and demonstrable.
​Are you able to show your values through how you behave and the actions you take? They manifest through your decisions, behaviors, and interactions. It's something you actively live out.

​Values cannot be taken away from you.
This idea is from the writer and teacher Nir Eyal. It stems from the notion that values are intrinsic beliefs and principles that reside within a person. Unlike external possessions or circumstances, your values are part of your identity and guide how you perceive the world, make decisions, and act.

For example, your family is not a value. Your family, despite how dark the thought, can be taken away from you. On the other hand, loving your family and connecting with loved ones is within you and actionable.

Values are discovered.
​Values naturally emerge from your life experiences, beliefs, and what resonates deeply with you. By noticing meaningful moments, significant decisions, and what truly matters, your values will be revealed. They cannot be imposed on you or arbitrarily selected.

​The criteria below are from the paper Universals in the Content and Structure of Values by Shalom H. Schwartz. In it, he identifies five features of values.
​
​Values are concepts or beliefs.
​Values are not tangible. They represent abstract principles that guide our understanding and influence our decisions, actions, and priorities.

​Values pertain to desirable end states or behaviors.
Values often point toward a vision of the ideal life or outcome we aim to achieve. They serve as guiding principles that define what is worth pursuing and how we should act to align with our sense of purpose.
​
​Values transcend specific situations.
​Values are applicable in every facet of our lives, serving as guiding principles that influence our behaviors and priorities.

​Values serve as a standard or criteria.
Values can be used to measure or evaluate decisions and situations. The outcome of a decision must rise to the standards of our values.
​
​Values are ordered by relative importance.
​All values are not equal. Our values can be ranked from most important to least important. An established hierarchy can help to further refine our vision and make decisions.

There are plenty of options for quizzes and assessments you can take online to help you identify your values. Some paid, some free.

We like The Core Value Index Assessment. In this assessment, you are given your dominant core energy which is tied to a core value and your secondary core energy which is also tied to a cornerstone value. It also gives you strategies for harnessing your values and pitfalls to watch out for.

While these quizzes are a great starting place, you can also benefit from going through a step by step process. It takes a little bit longer, but it's more personalized and you don’t have to fit into a pre-defined category.

There's not one official way to find your values, but most follow a similar process.  Here are six steps to guide you through finding your values.​

Start by making a list of qualities that are important to you. Do this without internet assistance first. But because the blank page is daunting, here are a few prompts to help you generate ideas:

Now that your list is started, you can Google. Too many lists will come up. There's lots of overlap so just pick one. Here one from CEO Sage that we like.
​
​Continue to make your list referencing internet value lists. Pick out words that resonate with you without overthinking it. Don't worry about the number of words on your list. We'll organize in the next step.

At this point you may have 50+ words written down, but have 50 values makes them difficult to be actionable. Here's a useful method for sorting your list: